I used to be the loneliest guy in town - couldn't find a girl
Till one day I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth
You know that gypsy with a goat-cap tooth
She's got a pad down on thirty-fourth and five
Selling little bottles of love potion number nine

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
It's been that way since nineteen fifty six
She jumped down, turned around and made a magic sign
And handed me a bottle of love potion number nine

She jumped down, turned around and gave me a wink
She said, "I'm gonna mix it up right here in the sink"
It smelled like turpentine and looked like india ink
I held my nose and closed my eyes - I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissing everything in sight
But when I kissed a cop down on thirty-fourth and five
It broke my little bottle of love potion number nine

"here you are son, don't be afraid
Just drink this - drink it all now"

So I closed my eyes, I held my nose - I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissing everything in sight
But when I kissed a cop on thirty-fourth and five
It broke my little bottle of love potion number nine
Love potion number nine
Love potion number nine