Well, that big dumb blonde with Gorgeous George
And Turtle, a friend of theirs, with his cheques all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk with a cheese in the cash
They're all gonna be there at that million dollar bash, and it's

Chorus
Ooh baby, ooh-ee
Ooh baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash
Everybody from right now go over there and back
The louder they come, well, the bigger they crack
Come now, sweet cream, and don't forget the flash
We're all gonna meet at that million dollar bash

(Chorus)

Well, I took my counsellor out to the barn
Silly Nelly was there, she told him a yarn
Then along came Jones and emptied the trash
Everybody went down to that million dollar bash

(Chorus)

Well, I been hittin' it too hard, you know, my stones won't take
I get up in the morning, bit too early to wake
First it's ``Hello'' and ``Goodbye'', and then push and then crash
But everybody's gonna make it to that million dollar bash

(Chorus)

Well, I looked at my watch, then I looked at my wrists
Punched myself in my face with my fists
And I took my taters back a-home to be mashed
But then I made it right on to that million dollar bash

(Chorus)