Ernie tosses and turns, trying to get to sleep, then says:

Oh, it's no use, I can't fall asleep. And you know why? It's 'cause I miss my old buddy Bert. He's not here. See, he went to this Pigeon Festival, you know with Bernice, the pigeon? You know, it might make me feel better if I could tell you about it, I hope you don't mind listening?

(singing)

When Bert's not here
The hours last forever
The toys aren't fun
And the cookies don't crunch
When Bert's not here
I don't feel so clever
And I never even feel like having lunch

When Bert's not here
The place is too quiet
The windows creak
Funny thoughts fill my head
When Bert's not here
No way to deny it
I feel I really should have stayed in bed

There's some peculiar things about him
What he likes and does can be a mystery
But to spend a rainy day without him
Makes me realize how much he means to me

When Bert's not here
The sky's not so sunny
My life seems blue
And from my point of view
When Bert's not here
The jokes aren't so funny
And I wonder what on earth I'm gonna do
When Bert's not here
To play with me and you

(spoken)

You know, I do feel better now. I guess sometimes it does help to tell somebody how you feel. So thanks for listening. I bet I can fall right asleep now. Oh, good night!