I can smell the change that's on your hands
Packing up your philips head and honey bear
Brandy danced for you and all your friends
Last night you think you might have left your money there

Good morning now your keys are gone
And the thundercats are on
The paper's here, it says it's over; kiss your mom

You can't hit a nail straight when you're laughing

Crystal was an unsuccessful blonde
Hasn't been to bed now for a week or two

Organizing closets until dawn
It's lovely how she's always finding things to do

Now Scotty's knife is in your hand
And your contact's in the sand
You're hallucinating in the heat

You can't hit a nail straight when you're laughing

Ninety-seven stitches and a cast
Sixty absent days but what you gonna do
Thought you said those breaks of yours would last
Now go before somebody drops a house on you

Jordan got so mad
He threw his hammer at your head
Sent you home and said he'd pick you up at five

You can't hit a nail straight when you're laughing

Keep on playing maybe it'll happen dear
I can't believe the doctor said he'd leave those bb's in your head
But I think he said he thought you shouldn't drive
So call us if you make it there alive