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The Dirt (nervosa)

Showbread


I want to open up my guts
And crawl inside to make a home
And nestle up inside the steaming softness silent and alone
I want to pull apart the things you think that matter
Cause to me nothing is everything, just a vacant listless clatter
And I bury myself underneath myself
I will not reach or call for help
I want to do this on my own I want to feel it in my bones
I want to know the ugliness that wraps around me
So I open wide and die inside
Forget the things the world said I could be

There’s nothing for me
Nothing I want to be
And I am nothing now and free
The nothing's in love with me

Don’t you think it’s funny how the dirt just piles up on me?
And I’m being crushed but baby hush
You know it doesn’t matter very much
To know the nastiness and roll around in piles of this
And yawn into the stinking hiss then close it tightly in my fists
When I am gone I’ll leave no bones, no dust, no death, no love, no home
Just emptiness and all of this is nothing nothing nothing, I’m alone
So wave goodbye and close your eyes and never take off your disguise
The world is ugly when you take it off, go on and live your life

And leave me lying here the world will never shed a tear
For idiots who die like us and never ever know something that’s real

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