She swings The string Of pearls on the corner The streelight reflects The light on the water The string, it snaps And the pearls go sailing And they splash And bounce And roll cross the wet street As she bends to chase the pearls A car swings round the corner She darts from the eyes Of the panic struck driver Whos racing to The delivery room 'Cause in the backseet his wife Is busting out of her womb
The sack breaks and out come the siamese twins Who grow up to become The first president with two heads Are better than one He puts his heads in his hands, Says I gotta put my heads together I can become the Best President Ever And not just president Fend for yourself
Signs his name takes the blame For all of the names with no shame In their beliefe they adjourn And the leave And in walks a man With a broom, and a knife And blood on his hands And he sweeps everything Under the rug And goes home To his kids, and he gives them a hug But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter That said you'll be much Better off without me
Now his wife took the train To her ex-lovers funeral Who died in the bathroom, Hit his head on a urinal When they got together, the knowledge was carnal And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight And they fell into the grave where the casket was resting And the preacher just left in the middle of the service 'Cause death was one thing, But women made him nervous And he got into his car, And he drove round the corner
Then something in the street Caught the light in his eye He bent over, reached down And picks up the pearl from the gutter He didnt know what to think He took it home and washed it in the sink And he gave the pearl To Sister Mary Theresa Who could not accept it, So she gave it to Lisa A young prostitute who was missing a pearl Off the necklace that broke Late last night