(Royston and Antony Langdon)

*Here, Antony writes a good-humored song about getting laid when all else fails. As a running joke, Ant claims to have written the song in a different city for every time the song is played.*

Love, love, love…

Oh what a crazy, lazy life
Shot gun wedding to a hooker wife
Down in the sewer, I'm fishin for a bone
You best tell your daddy that you're not coming home
(Chorus)

Ah, go ahead and call me loser
Sell my soul off to the dudes
Tell me that I'll never get paid
At least I got laid, at least I got laid
And though the memories fade away
At least I got laid, at least I got laid

Oh, what a tragic waste of time
Snuggling with that model as she chops out a line
Not much to offer, she's nothing to see
Well I thought she was a lesbian, but I think that I'm gay

(Chorus)

Now I know all I need to know
I've had my highs, I've lived my lows
I've gone as far as I can go
And I'm frozen to the bone

Listen now…
At least I got laid, at least I got laid
And though the memories fade away
At least I got laid, at least I got laid
He got laid, she got laid (x4)