The existential threat that I always feel
Nothing's happened yet today and yet I have to feel
Danger near, danger here
Nowhere to escape to and nobody there to hear as I now

Scream in fear, scream in fear
The existential threat is drawing very, very near and they all
Look away, look away
Can't they see the existential threat is on its way

The existential threat that I tend to feel
When I'm walking down the street or right behind the wheel
Turning left, turning right
Trying to escape the cloud that's close enough to feel and you may

Laugh out loud, laugh out loud
The existential threat is always hanging about and you may
Say go way, say go way
The existential threat is never going away

Doctor gave me these, I said what are these?
He said that they'll cure an existential type disease
Doubt they will, doubt they will
But I'm keen to try whatever, gimme that pill and he said

Here's the bill, here's the bill
In the end they didn't work, I paid the whole bill because
Insurance won't, they just won't
Cover existential meds, I wish I had known

How should I react under this attack
Even when I'm standing up I feel I'm on my back
Quagmire here, quagmire there
I cannot elucidate the danger that is always there but it is

Looming large, extra large
My semi-automatic weapon ready to discharge but it's a
Futile act, better pack
The existential threat is bulletproof and looming large

Sartre and Camus seemed to understand
Something close to what I'm feeling though they were in France
Deux Magots they would go
Each comparing existential threats they came to blows and then

The crowds came near just to cheer
For the greatest existential threatened philosophe and it is
Comforting, comforting
Then the comfort starts to very quickly fade away

Did I wake you up, sorry if I did
Guess I woke you up and also woke your little kid
Threat outside, let me hide
Just until the danger passes, then I'll go outside and have to

Come again, once again
The existential threat is at your patio door and do not
Let it in, let it in
When you fight the existential threat you will not win

The existential threat that I always feel
Lots of things have happened and I seek an even keel
Danger near, danger far
Nowhere to escape to and I'm racing in my car as I now

Scream in fear, scream in fear
The existential threat is drawing very, very near as I now
Drive away, by the way
Can't you see the existential threat is on its way