Everyone say to begin the begin, but no-one she begins him, so I will tell you how. First you lift your right leg, like this. Then you lift your left leg, like this. Then you lift both your legs together, like this.

There must be an easier way to do this, I think.

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Woman needs five dollars bad
Beauty facial must be had
Husband can't spare the money, of course
But he puts ten dollars on the nose of a horse

Wife can't see well enough to drive
Car through garage-doors twelve foot wide
But on husbands suit of grey
She can spot a blond hair from a block away

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Husband plays poker and enjoys
Sitting up all of night with the boys
But at home with his wife he'll fight
If he has to sit ten minutes with the baby at night

Wife runs faster than any gale
When she hears of a one-cent sale
"I'm saving you money" to her husband she'll blab
But to get to the sale she takes a taxi-cab

This is our philosophy
This is our philosophy
And we're sure, that you'll agree
People are funnier that anybody

Man gets married, says it's one good deal
He waited years for a homecooked meal
When wife has nice hot dinner on plate
He comes home from the poolroom two hours late

When single man kiss his girl goodnight
He gets filled with thrilled delight
But when husband kiss his wife, to say the least
He gets his nose caught in a curler and his whole face greased