(Difford/Tilbrook)
WARNING: These lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. They represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.

Like trying to knock down pins with marbles in my hand
She wouldn't take a hi from me the average man
Funny what money can do to people
But she had a light that had sparked up her evil
Trying to chat up women who rate themselves so high
Shouldn't be my subject but I felt like I should try
Funny what drink can do for soldiers
Well she must into men a little bit older

Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show
And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me
Hung over in my tree?
I saw the sun shine bright in front of......

Trying to get her dancing was not an easy job
She made out like Houdini when I said do you bop
Funny what rhythm does it kills me
Like champagne women only seem to spill me
Trying to get the picture, I settled down to a drink
When up came Cinderella, so what was I to think
Funny how these shoes fit a dragon
Well she's like the sharks that you get in Manhattan

Funny how it goes -- how money steals the show
And all her diamonds twinkle as she dances and what's it got for me
Hung over in my tree?
I saw the sun shine bright in front of.....