There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
And she could easily combine
your stupid ass with your face
Her name was Samus Aran
and she would destroy Metroids
When she wasn't totally pissed
she was extremely annoyed
She stood up to every challenge
no matter how ever demanding
And her courage was amazing a
nd her boobies were outstanding
WHAT? Uh, nothing. I was just saying that you're brave
Um okay, hey look over there. It's Kraid


I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen
You're gonna die motherfucker, I take up five screens
I'm gonna swallow you whole
and then you'll go down easy
Then you'll be digested and converted to feces
I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes
And your beautiful hair and your well toned thighs
And your pillowy lips and wait you're not a guy


Is that a problem you fuck


Um no, prepare to die

Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight
She got into a battle stance
that made her butt look super tight
And Kraid said

No wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake
I actually just wanted to give you some desserts
that I baked


But Samus said

What pisses me off most in this world
Is when enemies get nice
when they all find out I'm a girl
So do me a favor and take your cakes and your pies
And shove them so far up your ass
that they end up behind your eyes
Stop treating me like I'm a sex object
Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect

Yeah Kraid, you never talk to me that way

Oh gosh, I wonder if it is
because you are a huge disgusting brain

Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance

I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants

That's it, you're all fucking dead

What, this room feels stuffy
By the way do you like puppies
Here's a basket of puppies


Whoops, killed the puppies