TOBY:
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?
Are your nostrils a quiver and tingling as well at the delicate lashes ambrosial smell?
Yes they are I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen, that aroma enriching the bees
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source as the gourmets among you will tell you of course
Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
savory and sweet pies as you'll see
You, who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
conjure up the treat pies used to be

MRS. LOVETT:
Nice to see you dearie
how have you been keeping?
Coo m'bounds is weary
Toby, one for the gentleman
hear the birdies cheeping
helps to keep it cheery
Toby, throw the old woman out!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's your pleasure dearie?
No we don't cut slices
Coo m'eyes is bleary
Toby, none for the gentleman!
I put up m'prices
I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better now!

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good!

MRS. LOVETT:
Knock on wood!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Yes? What love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its six o clock
MRS. LOVETT: So its six o clock
SWEENEY: It was due to arrive at a quarter to five and its six o clock! I've been waiting all day
but it should have been here by now
MRS. LOVETT: and its probably already down the block it will be here, it will be here have a pitcher of beer and it
should've been here by now now

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies!

MRS. LOVETT:
Will you wait there cooling
'Cause my customers truly are getting unruly
SWEENEY: You come back when it comes!

MRS. LOVETT:
and what's your pleasure dearie?
Oops I beg your pardon
Just m'hands are smeary
Toby, run for the gentleman
down to Lover Garden
always makes me teary
must be one of them foreigners

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is delicious!

MRS. LOVETT:
What's my secret?
Frankly dear, forgive my can of firmly secret all to do with herbs
things like being
careful with your curry and that's what makes the gravy grander

ENSEMBLE:
More hot pies! More hot, more pies!

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: What now, love? Quick, though the trade is brisk
SWEENEY: But its here
MRS. LOVETT: Its where?
SWEENEY: Coming up the stair
MRS. LOVETT: I'll get rid of the slaughters they're still pretty hott it will soon be there
SWEENEY: It's about to be open to don't you care?
MRS. LOVETT: No Ill be there, I will be there but then none will get sold if I let them get cold
SWEENEY: But we have to prepare!

MRS. LOVETT:
Oh and incidentally dearie
you know Mrs. Mooney
sales have been so dreary
Toby, poor thing is penniless
What about that loony?
Lookin sort of beery
Oh well go get them upinsin that will be thruppinsin

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's more that pie's good
ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh

SWEENEY: Is this a chair fit for a king?
How wondrous meet and most particular chair
MRS.LOVETT: Its gorgeous, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: You tell me where is a seat can half compare with this particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect, its gorgeous
SWEENEY: I have a few minor adjustments
MRS. LOVETT: You make your few minor adjustments
SWEENEY: to make
they'll take
MRS. LOVETT: You take, your time
SWEENEY: a moment
MRS. LOVETT: I'll go see to the customers
SWEENEY: I'll call you
I have another friend

TOBY:
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most particular thing
MRS. LOVETT: Its gorgeous its gorgeous
TOBY: You see maam why there is no meat pie can compete with this delectable pie
MRS. LOVETT: Its perfect its gorgeous
TOBY: The crust all velvety and wavy
MRS. LOVETT: The crust all velvety and wavy
TOBY: that glaze, those crimps
MRS. LOVETT: That glaze, those crimps
TOBY: and then the thick succulent gravy
SWEENEY: Then down they go
The cellar waits below
TOBY: one whiff will make me glimpse
a wonder that we surrender
SWEENEY: On with, the show

SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Excuse me
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: Dear, see to the customers
SWEENEY: Psst!
MRS. LOVETT: All set, love?
SWEENEY: Hear me
MRS. LOVETT: My heart's a flutter
SWEENEY: When I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: When you pound the floor
SWEENEY: Its a signal to show that they're ready to go when I pound the floor
MRS. LOVETT: Yes I know you told me you'd be ready to go when you pound the floor!
Will you trust me? Will you trust me?
SWEENEY: I just want to be sure
MRS. LOVETT: I'll be waiting below for the whistle to blow
SWEENEY: when I'm certain that you're in place
I'll pound three times
three times
To warn you
three times
that means

ENSEMBLE:
Exactly more hot pies! God!
More hot! right! More pies! More! Right!

MRS. LOVETT:
How about it dearie?
be here in a twinkling
just confirms my theory
Toby, god wash this off of here
sit and have an inkling
Toby, throw the old woman out

TOBY: (at same time as MRS. LOVETT)
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Oh wondrous sweet and most delectable thing
you see maam why there is no meat pie

ENSEMBLE:
God, that's good! That is de-have-u-licious at the tasty smell such oh my god what's perfect more that pies such flavor God
that's good!