It was just like a dream, yeah, a surreal scene, like a blue orange
I thought my senses had gone, like i was writing a song about a foot-long
syringe
And she said, "Hello, dear, it's my party
So I hope you'll be smart", hee hee
And i said,"I don't know, but I think I'll go fix me a stiff drink"

Well, I sat there and stared, because at first I was scared of this female
Tarzan
And while she talked with the apes about champagne and grapes, i approached her
garden
And she said,"Now, now, don't try to leave me,
It's unfair to deceive me
I could kill if you try to escape me, come upstairs my friend"

Now I knew, I knew, I couldn't be that mean,
so I tried, yeah I really tried to leave her but she was a
big, big, big, big girl, big girl

Hurled out the door, it was becoming more of a test of honour
Would I go, would I stay, could I do it all day and be a certain gonnor
And she said,"Now you're so young and tender,
And don't be concerned with my gender"
It was hard but I managed to send her away up to those fluffy white clouds

It was hard on the brain but I would do it again for the satisfaction
She weighed 203 but that was OK by me, there was lots of action
And she said,"Shall we dance in the moonlight
It would be so nice on a June night"
But I said,"If it's OK by you, I'll just sit here a take me a rest"