There is a pub
In tumbridge wells
Where the landlord is
A wanker

Yes he has a girl
She dont notice me
And I dont understand what she sees in him
No I dont understand what she sees in him

Cause hes a wanker
The landlord is a fuckin wanker
The landlord is a fuckin wanker
The landlord is a wanker

She looks good
But she dont like me
She thinks im rather dirty
And ugly

She is nice
Oh whats she doing with him
If she was my girl
Id give her what for

I dont understand
What she sees in him
Cause hes a wanker
The landlord is a fuckin wanker

The landlord is a fucking wanker
The landlord is a fucking wanker
What a cunt!

But hes a wanker
The landlord is a fucking wanker x14
Hes also a fucking cunt!