One year I got a dog for Christmas
And I gave it to the boy next door
Then I gave him my bike and my mom's bank card
Cuz that's what Christmas is for
I used to give a lot at Christmas
You might say I gave to much
Until my family was broke and we had no place to live
That's why Christmas sucks

I went down to the mall each Christmas
Had to the Santa what to bring
A train, a bike, a pony and a great big pile of cash
And please don't get my sister anything
But the shopping mall Santa has been drinking
His nose is red from years of drinking scotch
He probably won't remember what's on my Christmas list
This Father Christmas sucks

Christmas Sucks, Christmas Sucks
Getting stuff is much for fun
You gotta look out for number one
Christmas Sucks

Christmas became worse as years went by
It was the most dreaded time of year
My parents got me clothes that just weren't cool
When all I want is money to buy beer
There was a girl at church who I was sweet on
So in the Christmas play I was the ox
I really think she liked me til I stepped on Baby Jesus
Even for our saviour Christmas Sucks

Christmas Sucks, Christmas Sucks
Getting stuff is much for fun
You gotta look out for number one
Christmas Sucks

Now that I am thirty-eight years old
The only things I get are ties and socks
My kids are never happy with what's under the tree
Soon they'll understand Christmas Sucks
Whoa, every freakin' year Christmas Sucks

Christmas Sucks
Christmas Sucks
Christmas Sucks
Hey! Hey! Hey!

Christmas sucks