Is this what you've been waiting for?
Say One, two
and four!

You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two
Guess what comes after

Hi again, I'm Gabe N
A fan of shooters, wizard of computers
And a handsome man!
Your grandfather used to blather
'bout him a thousand years ago
Wasn't easy keeping busy
Every season brings another reason not to make a game!
Oh, why bother, just another
Wasted day in studio
I had it all but tried new things, true
It didn't get us very far
Between controllers and machines you
Still picked a rusty ol' crowbar!
Nobody sees beyond my charming self
A soul, that's never truly free
So, just for once, forget the summer sale
And give it up for Half-Life Alyx

The valve's been stuck corroded by the money
Has not been oiled for years
We didn't even hope to see it running
But now you're bound to learn how to
But now you're bound to learn how to
This time you're bound to count to Three!

You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two
Guess what's coming after

Well, here we are again
Except we're long forgotten
My circuits niggling up
And down my spine
He said it's worth the wait
His weight keeps pressing harder
But Alyx gave us hope
We'll rise and shine!

For soulless card games
And hardware releases
The light's been turning green
Life gave you lemons
Take them out the freezer!
This time you're bound to learn how to
This time you're bound to learn how to
This time you're bound to count

The numbers are intimidating
It's hard to give a fresh new start
When everyone's anticipating
Another masterpiece of art!
If this machine keeps playing dead, we
May end up on the other side
So hold on to all your hats, let's
Show 'em a triple-A done right!

The valve's been stuck
Corroded by the money
But after many years
We can't believe the
Engine started running
This time he's bound to count to
Three!

Full steam ahead
We'll end this idle running!
Let's give the valve a spin!

We've got some work to do
So take this, honey!

This time you're bound to learn how to
This time you're bound to learn how to
This time you're bound to count to Three!

You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two
You're bound to count to one, two

Thank you and have fun!