I'd commit a number of any crimes
If I could get a thousand lashes from your eyes
It's a puerile compliment
I'm a senile delinquent
Whose day in court never comes

Whose way to court girls is all thumbs
Whose day in court never comes
Whose way to court he just hums

Who is city and who is horses?
Who writes the words and who sings the choruses?
I'm fishing for a complain tent
I'm in prison on arraignment
For a crime I didn't commit

This time I'm innocent
I swear that I'm not fit
To take the stand and admit
This time I'm innocent