If funny looks don't get you down,
You could get on in this town.
The drivers crawl along the kerb.
The thought of walking's quite absurd,
The dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Checking in and checking out
Why be shy when you can kick the can and shout?

The living church must move along,
The Carmelites could use a song.
A blessing Father if you please,
Help the hopeless in their need.
They don't need this kind of sleaze.

Checking in and checking out
Why be shy when you can kick the can and shout?

Here's a man who's run the marathon
Sad and lonely now it's been and gone.
Let me upon check my family,
Wonder do they still remember me.
I'm on the run, on the fun run.

Gifted artists need respect,
True collectors must collect.
There behind those rusty gates,
Dodgy sculptured license plates,
The gifted sit around and wait.

Checking in and checking out
Why be shy when you can kick the can and shout