I don't wanna leave, Bernadette,
But I don't wanna live with the jet set.
I don't wanna leave with you payin' all my debts,
With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.
You've never done a day's work in your life,
You've got no incentive.
You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with.
Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

I can't get a job, Bernadette,
So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts
If you marry me, Bernadette,
You'll lose the alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.
You've never done a day's work in your life,
You've got no incentive.
You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with.
Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.
Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette.
Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette.

[Bernadette's got a house in the country,
She's really got it made.
Her lawyers made her filthy rich,
She's got all expenses paid.]

Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away,
Then you'll eat him all up,
And spit him out,
With a dash of Perrier.

And when you've had enough
You'll throw him away,
And take him for all you can get.
Yeah, you like it don't you, Bernadette?

I don't want to leave Bernadette,
But I wanna keep a little bit of self respect.
I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts,
With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.
Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.
You've never done a day's work in your life.
You've got no incentive.
Women like you oughta be locked up,
For giving others a bad name.
Ohh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.
Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette.
Ooh, Bernadette.

I think you're sad.