You've been screamin' again that I don't do enough
for success to be assured
Hey, I could hire a midget with a sandwich board
to pass out my brochure
or a has-been actor with a bullhorn and cape
to help get out the word
I could save my nickels in a mason jar
or polish me up a turd

Chorus:
This business is goin' down
Your love depends on the money
Now that business is in the ground
guess so are we, honey

Well you nagged me into getting that loan from your daddy
who calls me "that damn ne'er-do-well"
Bet he'd love to see his little angel come home
while getting off watching me in hell
I've tried free baloons, a mechanical ape
and markin' everything half off
While you're home at your job of watchin' T.V. shows
it's quite a thrill here bein' my own boss

Chorus:
Rich or poor, 'till death comes callin'
before God and man a vow
but since you see me as a dead man walkin'
guess that don't hold any water now
that business is goin' down

Well, I sure do wish we had a couple of kids
Now wouldn't that be cool?
You'd show Suzy how to run her future old man down,
I'd teach Bobby how to drop out of school
You'd instruct her in the art of gourmet cookin' --
fine meals from the microwave
Like me, my son will be an entrepreneur
and retire to an early grave

Chorus:
This business is goin' down
What a couple of dummies!
A cold fish and a circus clown
Oh Lord, aren't we funny?
This business is goin' down
Your love depends on the money
Now that business is in the ground
guess so are we, honey
Now that business is in the ground
guess so are we, honey