Whoops! What A Palaver!

I quote in the vernacular
And edit speech oracular
To seek a phrase spectacular
Like, “Piss off you cunt”, or "I hate the Queen", or "I am one"

I wheedle out a vanity
Expose it with inanity
Expand it to insanity
He struck me as sick, talentless dick, got on my wick

Whoops, what a palaver, eh, my boy
Oh, slip us a fiver, and enjoy

I veer from the phenomenal
To mildly astronomical
Then swing to being comical
Little joke, like, here, here & there, now & then

I jeer at his philosophy
And leer at her biology
I never make apologies
Well, not for a ten, follow me drift, need a new watch

Whoops, what a palaver, eh, my love
Oh, do us a favour, hard cash, guv
Or piss off home

Anything you do, I can do better
But I've just got some better things to do
Any size you get, well, I've been bigger
Than you

Whoops, what a palaver, eh, my dear
Oh, just put your signature right here
Whoops, what a palaver, eh, my love
Oh, do us a favour, hard cash, guv
Or sling yer hook