I'm climbing up your old staircase
And finding where you're ticklish
I clean you out of my fingernails
And paw you out of my dish
And in the doughy face days end
Once I have licked your plate clean
You mutter on about infinity
I'm gonna show you what it means

Like a pretty girl in a wheelchair
That still claims she fell down the stairs
But if he touches you again
With those grubby little hands
I'll have to break them
Like some lovely legs in braces
With toothy smiley faces
So if he gets chopped up to bits
It must have been an accident
Must be a reason, don't need a reason

'Cause I know where you live
And I know where you sleep
And from the cradle to the grave
Cradle to the grave you'll behave

And when I fall in your Christmas tree
The dinner party reveals
In me robin egg blue and livery red
I hate to spoil your meal
But when I stop the good times rolling
With my hot breath in your ear
You know daddy loves you all so very much yeah
But daddy may be going away for a while, my dear

Like a pretty girl in a wheelchair
That still claims she fell down the stairs
But if he paws on you again
With those hungry little hands
Might have to bait him
Like some gorgeous girl in bedlam
There's something you're not saying
So won't it feel good to admit
This isolated incident
Don't need a reason, who needs a reason?

I come home right on time
Calmly loosen my necktie
We stare at the wall watch
We're moving the furniture around
I come home first in line
Wanna loosen my necktie
But it's your world we live in
We're moving the furniture around

Spend the next forty years moving the thermostat around.