What we need in the world today
is a guide for the married man...
It's a simple thing that in every way
will provide for the harried man...

Help him not to worry.
Assist him to relax.
Help him slow his hurry.
And spare him of the ax!

Such a guide would in many ways
turn the tide for the married man.
Enable husbands to fill their days
as only the married can...

Every man would praise it!
It's such a splendid plan!

Someday soon we should point with pride,
to the guide for the married man!

(Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba)
(Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba)

By the side of the married man
is the lady who shares his life...
It will help the bride of the married man
by removing the husband's strife...

Every wife is truthful who treasures married bliss.
Must keep her husband youthful.
What better way than this?

Each and every device we know
should be tried for the married man.
And who can question the debt he'll owe
to the guide for the married man.

This thing's universal.
From Pittsburgh to Japan.
And every man can be satisfied,
by the guide for the married man!

(Ba ba ba.....)