I'm at the supermarket Gonna cop some rhubarb I reach into my pocket It's time to get charged I pay in cash, and I know what happens next is strange I flash a stunning smile and say "You can keep the change"
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person You can have that money (It's yours!) And also coins are uncomfortable in my pockets, uh
Sitting by my computer Mom comes inside the lair "It's smelling like a sewer You should go get some air" I'm gettin up, and stretch, I'm filling up with pride I open up the door and put a single foot outside
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person I leave my house (So healthy!) I'm gonna put my foot back inside of my house now, uh
My lifestyle's quite unhealthy I snacked recording this Got an expanding belly Can't find a shirt that fits Roll my chair to the kitchen, fill my snack bowl to the brim Yeah, I know that might look bad, but then I sign up for a gym
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person I'm a gym member (Gon' get ripped) And I will go there sometime, I just haven't decided on a date yet, uh
I'm chilling out in class My teacher's such a jerk And suddenly he asks "Where is your homework? " All my friends in panic, "No, was that today? " I slap mine on the desk and say "I'm gonna get an A... plus. "
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person I do my homework (Model student!) Turns out I plagiarized and now I'm in detention, uh
My mom is back again "Can you take out the trash? " Her mind was blown right then "I did it before you asked"
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person I do my chores (For mommy!) Couldn't find a trashcan so I dumped it in the ocean, uh
It's just a regular day Or is it, Grandma? No, someone's changin' age and It isn't Grandpa Other grandsons may just write on Facebook walls But I am Grandma's special boy, so I am gonna call
Oh!) What? Oh yeah, I'm a good person I remember birthdays (For example, February 7th!) You better think of me when you're drafting up your will, uh
I'm hanging out with Quinston He is the coolest guy Got 30k on Insta Always wears suit and tie I tell him 'bout how good I am, but he says "Bro The people who are really good don't brag about it though"
What? You're saying bragging about the nice things you've done misses the whole point of doing nice things in the first place? "
Oh!) What? Am I a good person? I don't brag ever (Never did!) Now please excuse me while I go delete my Twitter, uh
Oh, and I gotta delete this song. What, it's already on Youtube and Spotify? Well, hopefully no one will listen to it.)