- words and music by Randy Newman
- #1 hit for Three Dog Night in 1970
- lyrics as recorded by Three Dog Night and included on the compilation
album "Three Dog Night - The 20 Original Hits" (PolyTel 512 996-2)
- originally released in 1970 on Dunhill 4239

Want some whiskey in your water?
Sugar in your tea?
What's all these crazy questions they're askin' me?
This is the craziest party that could ever be
Don't turn on the lights 'cause I don't wanna see

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
"That ain't the way to have fun, no"

Open up the window, let some air into this room
I think I'm almost chokin' from the smell of stale perfume
And that cigarette you're smokin' 'bout scare me half to death
Open up the window, sucker, let me catch my breath

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"

The radio is blastin', someone's knockin' at the door
I'm lookin' at my girlfriend - she's passed out on the floor
I seen so many things I ain't never seen before
Don't know what it is - I don't wanna see no more

Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
She said, "That ain't the way to have fun, son"
"That ain't the way to have fun, no"

"That ain't the way to have fun, no"
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"
"That ain't the way to have fun, no"
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"

"That ain't the way to have fun, no"
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"
"That ain't the way to have fun, no"
"That ain't the way to have fun, son"