I.
I love a sunburnt country,
A land of pouring rain -
Where the only thing you cannot be
Is someone with a brain.
Paul, he could be wrong,
But that's not where he erred:
How dare he just come along
And call a turd a turd?
It ain't just the fucking sheep
That do the fucking bleating -
There's sixteen million Australians,
And only one Paul Keating.

II.
The future is a road too long
To ever really harass us.
We'll drive past Paul hitch hiking on
The freeway to Damascus.
Look at the woggy suit he's got on;
He probably drinks light;
It's not that we knew he was wrong,
But that he knew he was right.
Paul's the man to call the charge
That gets us all retreating.
There's sixteen million Australians,
And only one Paul Keating.

III.
Australia's heart is a living room,
It's soul a Ford Cortina;
It needs an intellectual vacuum
To take it to the cleaner.
To do the job, it's Paul for mine,
When we realise we all blundered
The day we wake up to find
He had us all out numbered.
That little black duck will give us all
A well deserved fist beating.
There's sixteen million Australians,
And only one Paul Keating.

IV.
He's the man who hits a nerve
In the public's self perception.
You get the leaders you deserve;
He is the exception.
There's the "little Aussie bleeder" crap -
What a load of damn pretension -
Some housewife spouting brainless pap
For the media's attention.
Flick the switch to vaudeville!
In shopping centres he'll be greeting
The sixteen million Australians
Who are not Paul Keating.

V.
Australia's sons let us rejoice,
For we are young and free.
That means we've got the right to choice -
And give the arse to old Paulie.
Advance Australia fucking fair,
This nation we will throttle -
I hope that Paul is fucking there
To put some blood on the fucking wattle.
Let's have an election here and now:
Someone has been cheating!
There's sixteen million Australians,
And only one vote for Paul Keating.