I miss the days when no one even knew my name Now everywhere I go I wear a hat to hide my face I got weapons hidden inside every room in my place Now I have to keep a pistol on me always just in case This is a nightmare, never expected the fame To be something I would wrestle with and fight to embrace Sometimes I feel like the love I gеt's outweighed by the hatе I hid the tears, but I can't hide from the pain I'm workin' 20-hour days can't even lie to y'all, I'm burnt out I sleep on my weight bench tryna find the strength to work out Should be happy I'm successful, I just went and bought my first house Thought money would help cure my depression but it's worse, how? Tired of it, lucky I don't have a manager 'cause I'd be firin' him Tired of talkin' to other artists Who just wanna tell me I'm inspirin' them Parents keep tellin' me they have a kid And they're thankful the child is admirin' me Great, you wanna know how I feel? I might kill myself before retiring
I'm in the clouds I can't reach the ground They're comin' in crowds Blew me up like a balloon and let me
Go Watch me float away while I scream "no" Every time I get close, they pull out their phones Like, "Maybe this time we can see him explode" Blew me up like a balloon and let me go They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes They wanna see me pop, they don't wanna see me blow They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow Blew me up like a balloon and left me
I miss the times when I could go outside I didn't have to watch my back out of the corner of my eye I didn't have to fake a smile and pose for pictures all the time Can't even lie, I miss when time was really mine Now I just belong to everybody else but me These panic attacks are makin' it awful hard to breathe Built a vocal booth inside the crib and stopped makin' beats Don't even rap, I stand inside of it and scream Like this is not what I expected I worked my hands to the bone And my anxiety is triggered by the apps on my phone I tried deleting them so the Internet would leave me alone But the lack of attention made me feel worse than before I'm sick of it all, the internet watchin' me trip when I fall Embarrassed that everyone witnesses all My illnesses in real-time, man, I'm addicted to y'all Rappers on Twitter don't get me involved I'm posing for photos with fans in the mall I'm dying inside, pretending I'm strong I'm not a celebrity, I am just Tom
I'm in the clouds (Huhuhuhuhuh) I can't reach the ground (Huh) They're comin' in crowds (Fuck) Blew me up like a balloon and let me (I just can't do this shit anymore)
Go Watch me float away while I scream "no" Every time I get close, they pull out their phones Like, "Maybe this time we can see him explode" Blew me up like a balloon and let me go They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes They wanna see me pop, they don't wanna see me blow They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow Blew me up like a balloon and left me
I miss the years when every Friday wasn't spent with my therapist Then I realized I hated fame and accepted that I'm scared of it I got Ativan, Cipralex, Xanax and Seraquel In a Tupperware container I don't touch, I just stare at 'em Breathin' exercises supposed to help me to cope But nothin' works quite as good as a bottle of jack and a smoke I try to focus on my breath but it gets stuck in my throat This never happened back when I was young and happy and broke I never thought I'd be the rapper all these rappers try to be Posting twenty times a day, now I don't have no privacy Meeting with these major labels, CEOs with giant teams If y'all wanna do business, why are y'all tryna lie to me? I'm bored of the fame Every time it feels fresh again I'm gettin' more of the same Interviewers think they know who I am They made up their mind before I explain Well, because you asked so nice, I guess I'll tell Ain't been feelin' too hot lately, Jim is there anything else? Great 'Cause lately every day I feel like I'm livin' in hell I'm glad the music helps you, but I might really kill myself When this magazine gets printed can you send one to my house? I'd like to own a tiny piece of me like everybody else
Go Watch me float away while I scream "no" Every time I get close, they pull out their phones Like, "Maybe this time we can see him explode" Blew me up like a balloon and let me go They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes They wanna see me pop, they don't wanna see me blow They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow Blew me up like a balloon and left me