I just want to tell you about Martin Cos nobody I know has got a brother like him As kids we could never be parted The neighbours all knew us as the terrible twins At school some kids were always looking for a fight But Martin never wanted a fuss Bigmouth Brown thought he'd push him around Being three years older than us So I smashed him in the mush with the cloakroom stool I got six of the best and suspended from school
But it was worth it with a brother like Martin It was worth it with a brother like him
We used to nick motors for a joyride Till we rammed a Black Maria in this XJ6 To give Martin time to get clear I tried to punch a few policemen before I got nicked I got Borstal for taking and driving away And beating up the boys in blue But Martin never missed a single visiting day He hitched from Clapham to Crewe With all me racing mags and the little bits of news Smuggling in ciggies and a little bit of booze
No-one ever had a brother like Martin No-one ever had a brother like him
People get the wrong impression with Martin I know he doesn't mix much but he's no snob The weekend I got out of remand home He'd got Uncle Ruby to find me this job And back at my Nan's he'd repainted my room And bought me a brand new carpet There was all me old records and books on a shelf And a secondhand telly from the market You can get a bit hard when you've been inside But I hugged the old bastard and I almost cried
Cos no-one ever had a brother like Martin No-one ever had a brother like him