I remember that day, cause I was excited. No school. I'd been raking my father's field, wearing this stupid little dress. Rocking out, raking it up.
Sort of sweating, feeling good. I was laying on the grass. Making big angels. I was feeling kinda itchy, in the grass, laying in the sun...mmm...kinda liking the way it felt. Guess I must have fallen asleep.
I still don't know what woke me up. All I can remember seeing were these huge eyes, staring over me. Right on top of me. This older boy, out of my league, cause I was no cheerleader, no lipstick queen. I could feel his eyelashes on my face and they were tickling me. Maybe that's what woke me up. I was shocked. That sun was so hot, and he was so warm. I didn't know what it was but it felt kinda good. Just the way his fingers ran through my hair, just raking it up. I'd never had anyone touch me like that before cept for my mother. I knew there was something wrong, but I don't know, I kinda liked it. It was sort of like...wow. Like amazing.
And he just kept whispering "You're sooooooo beautiful....god, you're beautiful...." Just this sweet voice tickling me.
Then I got kinda nervous. And I got really embarrassed. I felt myself getting really hot. Sort of blushing, that hot. I tried to get up, but he started to laugh, and he started pulling me down, pinning me to the ground. He's not playing a game. I hear this screaming, and it's me. And I started to hear my clothes rip.
And I got scared, really scared. And in a way, I hoped to God no one would find us, cause I was so embarrassed. I became silent. This is all wrong.
It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.
His hand over my mouth. That's why I'm not screaming.
I didn't say anything. I didn't feel anything. I just drifted away. I just floated. Just that sharp pain. And then he's through with me. I didn't tell anyone. Didn't tell anyone