Whoa, Mrs. Jones! Hello!
Hey! Whoa! Now, now, now, now, Yeah!
She's keeping up with the Joneses!

Everything she wants, everything she asks for
Clever woman, she knows how to be
When she's on the phone, my life's a misery
Trails and tribulations, cheap imitations
They have it, so buy me the same
Get me out of here or I know I swear
I'll give her something and it won't be my name

(Whatever she wants, she gets)
How can I refuse
No woman's gonna make a fool out of me
This ain't no way to behave

Keepin' up with the Joneses
(Awh! Keepin' up with the Joneses! Awh!)
No matter what they've got, she's keeping up...
She's keepin' up with the Joneses
Like a clown said, "She wouldn't take long"
Kept me waiting an hour or three
When she takes too long, there goes the best part of me

I can't take it anymore!

She wants a garden just like her friend
(Keepin' up with the Joneses)
Hey, she's drivin' me 'rond the bend
(Keepin' up with the Joneses)
She wants the car changed, 'cos it's the trend
(Keepin' up with the Joneses)
She's drivin' me 'rond the bend

Yeah, The Joneses got a spell on me!

That was a pretty brilliant take
By the way, your Mrs. called an she asked me to ask you
If you could pick her up at the Joneses?