Hi, I'm fuckin' Eddie Dingle
I met this girl named Nan
She, she overpopulated my senses
And fuckin' dicked me over

What's your big secret?
Could you give me a clue?
Oh, silly girl, I'm so in love with you
Won't you tell me what's on your mind
If you'd open your head tell me what would I find

Are you for real? What do you feel?

Finders keepers, losers weepers, baby
If I could get the lid off, I'd look into the jar
Is this the best thing that I can do?
It ain't done me no good so far

Mind over matter
But it seems I don't matter at all (fucker)
Nan, a table for one
Do you think I could be invited to come? (fuck)

What's your big secret?
Could you give me a clue?
Oh, silly, silly girl, I'm so in love with you
Won't you tell me what's on your mind
If you'd open your head tell me what would you find

Are you for real? What do you feel?

You know, I saw you yesterday walkin' with Danny
He's a fucker, and you're a fucker too
You know what you did to me baby?
Yeah, you know what you did, now you're walkin' with Danny down the street
How do you think that make me feel huh?
How do you think that make me feel huh? Huh?
You think I like it here, you fucker?
You fuckin' bitch, I hate you, you fucker
You keep walkin' with Danny
You keep fuckin' walkin' with Danny, I don't give a fuck
Yeah, I don't give a flying fuck about you or Danny, you bitch