Once upon a time, Dale Meiners got mad at me
He was very disappointed in me
I was bragging about doing a keyboard solo show that would not happen
At 2:00 AM on March 5, 1996, Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride

As Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride, I gave him a war hell ride
I told Dale Meiners to get off my case
Suddenly, I threw him against the van
I wanted to duke his scrawny ass up and smash his face at about 2:10 AM that morning

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride

As we left the Bottleneck, me and Dale yelled at each other
He called me a fucking asshole
I called him a fucking dipstick
It was my fault for not being cool in Lawrence, Kansas that morning

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride