This is my first wedding and I hope it is my last

Things would be fantastic if me and the bride didn't have a past

So I stand by the buffet and submerse myself in brie

I'm tactically positioned

Yeah because the bar is near and the champagne's for free

Oooh oooh ooh ooh

This is my first wedding and I hope it passes quick,

If I've got no feelings for her then why is my stomach feeling so sick?

As they dance to their soppy song I pray it isn't love

Because she's my heartless bitch that I just can't seem to get enough of

Oooh oooh ooh ooh

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!

She'll steal your mind first then your car

she's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!

Blame it on an evil twist of fate, that she created from the start

Just one more single malt then it's off to bed for me

My head is spinning round and my legs are break-dancing (HE'S PISSED!)

I only meant to say farewell but I spilt more than my drink

I can't remember exactly what I said

but I remember being chased up the street!

Oooh oooh ooh ooh

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!

She'll steal your mind first then your car

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!

Blame it on an evil twist of fate, that she created from the start

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!