Well three young couples were ridin' along
They had the directions messed up wrong
So they stopped in Lovelock to take a snooze
They were on their way to a friend's wedding
They had no idea what they were getting into
When through town they happened to cruise

I was working as a gas station attendant
When a couple pretty girls and some men did
Ask me if I knew where they could spend the night
Well, I sent 'em up the road to the B&B
It's the only place in town, you see
But they were greeted warmly by death, horror and fright
Yeah

Well this used to be such a quiet little town
We never had too much trouble around here
'Til that spirit was released
And we were haunted by the deceased
And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

Oh an esoteric drifter was along for the ride
He had a backpack with mysteries at his side
That would tell the tales of the Kuman Thong
Now some of you might dare say
I saw a Kuman Thong on a beach on spring break
Oh so sad that this spirit has to prove you wrong

Well the record clerk said with her own eyes
She watched a man named Robert Wise
Dig up the corpse of his new born son
And he confined it to a wooden box
Using only a ribbon for a lock
Not knowing what that spirit would become

Well this used to be such a quiet little town
We never had too much trouble around here
'Til that spirit was released
And we were haunted by the deceased
And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

Now the hotel chef without reasonin'
Perhaps he was lookin' for seasonin'
Opened the box and became a victim quick
And our young friends went into town
Just tryin' to track some answers down
But they got in some trouble at a bar while shootin' stick

Well I lost my gig and I lost my band
But I still played on, and goddamn
I had a room full of ghouls who were checkin' out my sound
Well this one guy by the name of Johnny
Sort of a leader for us zombies
Said that we should go hunt the rest of the young ones down
Yeah

Well this used to be such a quiet little town
We never had too much trouble around here
'Til that spirit was released
And we were haunted by the deceased
And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

Our heroes were brave and full of verve
And the drifter thought he knew how to curve
Those possessed by separating their brains
He said they had to dig up the plot
Where Wise was laid down to rot
And carve his bones 'til they resembled blades

Now Sara must have been workin' for NASA
Buildin' a shotgun that would easily blast ya
Out of pipes and wires and ammo and bullets of lead
And David and Kate dated for four years
He screwed the bride to be and Kate shed tears
'Til Dave got possessed and beat her over the head
Yeah

Well this used to be such a quiet little town
We never had too much trouble around here
'Til that spirit was released
And we were haunted by the deceased
And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

Well we battled hard at the B&B
And we all had crushes on sweet Melody
But she had a thing for that drifter was he hung?
And Melody boned Johnny with a firm femur
Johnny died quick, he wasn't a screamer
And the wooden box burning ceremony had begun

Now Sara, Melody and the drifter
They couldn't drive out of Lovelock any swifter
They were the three remaining unpossessed people
And that wooden box that would be an urn
Well it never really started to burn
Leaving room for more zombies and a sequel
Hey, what do you know?

This used to be such a quiet little town
Yes it did!
We never had too much trouble around here
'Til that spirit was released
And we were haunted by the deceased
And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here
I said there's all this crazy shit that's going down here
Oh yeah, there's all this crazy shit that's going down here
I gotta get outta town!