I change who I am every goddamn year
But I'll live and die by the same old fears
Thought time would heal
But it comes with complications
My twenties showed me independence
Built a barricade for my own protection
The archer aims its arrow
On my necklace

I can't believe we're five years deep
Only now I can finally
Admit that when you goI can't digest it
I need the air like I need you there
Here with me, and I don't care
Brick by brick, I'm losing my defences

I feel it inside, I feel it inside
Gotta keep you alive
Now I feel it inside
I feel it inside
I feel it inside
I feel it inside

They say life makes sense when you hit twenty-seven
All I think about is going back to eleven
When friends aren't gonna overdose
I could point at the sky still call it heaven
Now I wonder why it was them, not me
I keep picturing all their families
Singing by the church pews
With tears soaking through their shoes

'Cause I've lost a friend, he was like a brother
Every now and then I still speak to his mother
Devastated, and I can take it
'Cause I'm terrified that if you get too close
I could lose you too, and then I'd know
The world is worthless without you in it

I feel it inside
I feel it inside
Gotta keep you alive
Now I feel it inside
I feel it inside
I feel it inside
I feel it inside

Sometimes I wanna scream
At the top of my lungs
For the moments I missed
But they've been, and they've gone
A few days, I spoke to my mom
About my Grandma's life
Where it all begun
She was cold from the trauma
Cut off from the sun
To survive, she dyed her dark hair blonde
But we look alike In it's our blood

Saw her every Sunday till I was seven
Faded memories think I repressed them
Her life was heavy, soon it was time
When the cancer returned
She wasn't scared to die
Stopped the treatment
She couldn't go through it twice
I don't know why

I feel her inside
I feel her inside
Gotta keep her alive
Now I feel her inside
I feel her inside
I feel her inside
I feel her inside