It's a simple little system any child can understand The composers names, we list them with the racetracks of the land With this simple little system we'll be close by fortune's door And to think that no one ever, ever thought of it before
Gentlemen, Gentlemen, look at your charts
What is Beethoven? (Belmont Park) Where's Puccini? (Pimlico) Who is Humperdinck? (Hollywood) What is Beethoven? (Beethoven is Belmont Park) Where's Puccini? (Puccini is Pimlico) Who is Humperdinck? (Humperdinck is Hollywood)
Ah, that is correct, turn the page
What's Tchaikovsky? (Churchill Downs) Who's Mussorgsky? (Monmouth Park) What's Rachmaninov? (Rockingham) What's Tchaikovsky? (Tchaikovsky is Churchill Downs) Who's Mussorgsky? (Mussorgsky is Monmouth Park) What's Rachmaninov? (Rachmaninov is Rockingham)
That is correct, turn the page
It's a simple little system where it pays you to begin A simple little system where the Lord is listening in We will take those record orders in a very cultured tone While we're really booking horses over at Susanswerphone
We'll be rich, we'll be rich, we'll be rich!
Debussy is Del Mar Humperdinck is Hollywood César Franck is Fairgrounds Sibelius is Sportsmans Park Berlioz is Bainbridge Hindemith is Hawthorn Offenbach is Omaha Ev'rybody, all together now (Who is Beethoven? Belmont Park, it's a simple little system) (Who's Puccini? Pimlico, simple little system) (Who's Tchaikovsky? Churchill Downs) (And Shostakovich is Saratoga) What is Handel? (Hialeah, Hialeah) Who is Handel? (Hialeah, Hialeah) Oh, what a system!