Well me and Homer went out to California
And we gawked around like all them tourists do
And while strollin' on the beach near Santa Barbara
We got our eyes full me and Homer too

We saw bout thirty five people wearin' just what they was born with
And some were wearin' even less than that
Why I required artifical respiration
From this long legged blonde she's wearin' a hat

Twas on the bottomless topless beach in Santa Barbara
Man I couldn't believe my eyes
The bottomless topless beach in California
That's one place you can go without wearin' a tie

There were lots of bodies playin' around in the water
And some were layin' stretched out on the sand
I ask Homer if he thought we'd oughter
He said it seems a delightful way to acquire a tan
All over my body

There's a railroad train that runs right along the water
And there's one place where this nude beach comes in sight
And them little old ladies from down in Pasadena
Why they stand up in their seats and yell ice is right
(Say I can't believe I saw the whole thing)

Twas on the bottomless topless beach in Santa Barbara...
Or a shirt or a pair of pants or socks
Or shorts some guys just aren't required