(The day that widow Jones sock it to the Harper Valley PTA)

Order order I'll have a cheeseburger and a small beer
Seriously boys I would like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley AA a PTA
Why there's Bobby Taylor you son of a gun

I was just strollin' along the street tonight on my way to Kelly's bar
And I saw your sign outside that said PTA
I thought that meant Party Time Already
So here I am and I'm havin' a lot of fun you bunch of son of a guns
Mr Baker widow Brown Shirley baby
Mr Peyton and distinguished guests you bunch of son of a guns

Hey Mrs Johnson Mrs Johnson
You say old Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he asked you for a date
Well that's shockin's
Hang right in there Bobby she'll probably come around if you'll just wait
And I can tell you why Mr Baker's secretary up and left this town
She was expectin' to get a lot better job with Brown and Brown in another town

Mrs Johnson do you happen to be a grass widow
That makes you a Johnson grass widow
Mrs Johnson has posed the question
Should widow Brown be told to keep her window shades pulled completely down
To pull or not to pull that is the question
Well I'll leave ot to a vote now how do you vote (no) You bunch of son of a guns
I think you made a wise choice it beats watching TV
Now that brings us up to Shirley Thompson's breath
Perhaps I shouldn't brought that up tell the green phantom
Hey you are all really a bunch of swingers and I've sure had a lot of fun
Yeah this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley son of a guns
This is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley son of a guns
Son of a guns