Man, you're really one heck of a guy

best friend since Jr. High

you showed me Playboy for the very first time

that was rad

We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the first row

I pierced your ear right before the show

we stole your brother's beer and he didn't know, whoa

Whoa, your new girlfriend is a son of a gun

did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion

I know you know she used to be my girl

you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb

and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

now your stuck with her

like melincamp is stuck with cougar

guess that makes me the luckiest loser

I met her at a kegger passed out in the yard

getting in her pants wasn't really that hard

6 months later she crashed my car

that was rad

She's got a glow from her spray on tan

Marilyn Manson is her favorite band

I really think she might worship satan

not a fan

Whoa, Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun

did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion

I know you know she used to be my girl

you should run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb

and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

now she's stuck with you

like a frat guy with a bad tattoo

like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper

guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover

you deserve each other

I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to meet your mother

she was a superstar

backseat of my car

those days are over now, but life goes on, yeah

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun

did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?) (just wanna get some?)

Yeah

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion

I know you know she used to be my girl

you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb

and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

now your stuck with her

like melincamp is stuck with cougar

like number two on a pooper scooper

I guess that makes me the luckiest loser

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion (luckiest loser)

I know you know she used to be my girl (luckiest loser)

you'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb (luckiest loser)

and did I mention that you both suck?