She got a Valentine from Gary
I opened it up it said "Would you please be mine."
I sent her flowers and some candy
She opened them up and said "You're trying to make me fat"

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

Not too smart
Not too tall
Likes to watch TV and play basketball

I bought a car and let her drive it
She opened the door and said "Oh bother, this is red."
I gave her all my notes from algebra
Yeah, she opened ‘em up and said, "I can't believe you're so stupid."

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

Not too smart
Not too tall
Likes to watch TV and play basketball
Play basketball
Play basketball
Play basketball

(BREAK)

(Now)
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to make me laugh
I just want a new girlfriend
(Yeah)
I just want someone to laugh at me

I just want her to look me (yep)
I just want her to talk to me (yeah)
I won't ever make her wash my car (no!)
I won't ever take a walk, not unless she's there.