The Carter family lived next door for almost 14 years
With Gwen and I inseperatable from rag dolls through brassieres
Then Gwen began to bore me with her giggles and her fears
The day the Carters moved away, I had to fake my tears
I told new friends Gwen Carter had become a silly pest
And then I found I missed her more than I'd ever have guessed

Grandma used to nag at me to straighten up my spine
To act respectful and read good books
To take care of what was mine
I hated being criticized and asking her permission
So what if her advise was wise, It always hurt to listen
I didn't cry when Granny died, she made me so depressed
And then I found I missed her more than I'd ever have guessed

You used to make me moan in bed, but that can't be enough
My friends complained your jokes were crude,
Your manners were too rough
Don't know just what I wanted, but I know I wanted more
Someone smooth, presentable, to blend with my decor
And now at night I think of how you grinned when you undressed