Well, somebody found it somewhere
At an old flea market fair
With no number on the tag
Let it go for half a dollar
Well, they didn't even bother
To wrap it up inside a bag
I was drinking gasoline
In a half-price limousine
Watching TV in the back
But, much to my surprise
When I hit Channel Five
Nearly had a heart attack

I sold my soul somewhere so long ago
Oh, I didn't think too much at the time
I was young and I didn't know
Oh-oh, 'til I saw it late one night on the Antiques Roadshow
Expert collectors to appraise, well

Well, the trip that I was on
Like a rerun marathon
Of blue days and black nights
Where the Marlboro angels play
For the men like birds of prey
'Neath the masthead burning bright
I saw it on display
Like imitation Fabergé
Ogled by the midlife herds
Yeah, the signal came on through
Like a bad dream come true
Leaves you at a loss for words

I sold my soul somewhere so long ago
Oh, I didn't think too much at the time
I was young and I didn't know
Oh-oh, 'til I saw it late one night on the Antiques Roadshow
Like looking into my own grave, well

Now I'm commercial grade
Fit for the Wall Street trade
Swimming with the price of gold
Commemoration baseball cards
Courtesy of Scotland Yard
Dug up from the days of old
Ring mottle cathedral glass
Handwritten Leaves of Grass
Certified and guaranteed
Well, they're throwing it all away
I may get it back some day
They just can never never see
What it could mean to me

I sold my soul somewhere so long ago
Oh, I didn't think too much at the time
I was young and I didn't know
Oh-oh, 'til I saw it late one night on the Antiques Roadshow
Ah, just to see what I could raise, well

So, what's it gonna be?
You want a piece of me?
Could it help to ease the pain?
Can you tell me so?
'Cause I'd like to know
If you have been entertained
By a funeral song
For even half as long
As your attention span allows
Can you tell me so?
'Cause I'd like to know
If you have been entertained