In the summer, you're the winter,
In the finger, you're the splinter.
In the banquet, you're the stew,
Say, I c'n do without you!

In the garden, you're the gopher,
In the Levi's, you're the loafer.
Like an overturned canoe,
Well, I c'n do without you!

You c'n go to Philadelphia,
Take a hack to Hackensack. Hey!
I'll never ring a bell fer ya,
Or yell fer ya to come back!

In the question, you're the why,
In the ointment, you're the fly.
Though I know some things are indispensable,
Like a buck or two,
'f there's one thing I c'n do without,
I c'n do without you!

In the barrel, you're a pickle,
In the gold mine, you're a nickel.
You're the tack inside my shoe.
Yeah, I c'n do without you!

In my bosom, you're a dagger,
You're a mangy carpetbagger.
In the theater, you're the "Boo!"
I c'n do without you.

Ya got charms that ain't bewitchin' me,
You've a face no one wud paint.
I got the darnedest itch in me
To be wherever ya ain't!

In the bullfrog, you're the croak,
In the forest, poison oak!
Though I know some things are necessary,
My half-pint buckaroo,
'f there's one thing I c'n do without,
I c'n do without you!

You're a nut!
You're a faker!
You're trouble!
You're a trouble-maker!
I c'n do without you!