I'll tell you a story
believe me it's true
a tale you'd best hope
never happens to you
old spicy mcHaggis,
how he met his fate
you I can save, but for him it's too late.

Spicy was big, burly and strong
his pipes were gigantic, and so was his schlong
from city to city
running around
awlays looking for chicks over four hundred pounds

One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
big as a house, just the right size.
The broad was enormous,stacked to the hilt
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt.
The piper delivered his best pick-up line
thought to himself
"this beast is all mine"
The portly young lady could stand for no more
grabbed his cojones and went for the door.

They got to her house and dimmed all the lights
Spicy was in for one hell of a night.
He said that he loved her, he'd always be true
"But Mr. McHaggis, I've only just met you!!"

By now he saw double through his drunken eyes
neither had looks or appropriate size.
He came to his sense, thought to himself:
"At this time of night I won't find nothing else".
He took off his shirt,she lifted her skirt
they pulled out his unit and stared to play.
She asked for a glove, he gave her a shove
had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.

One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
big as a house, just the right size.
The broad was enormous,stacked to the hilt
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt.
The piper delivered his best pick-up line
thought to himself
"this beast is all mine"
The portly young lady could stand for no more
grabbed his cojones and went for the door.

Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'til he dies
Spicy McHaggis, one hell of a guy!


MDef.