Made a phone call to Hawaii to my favorite rehab Doc.
I said, "Help me, Doctor Hager, I've been up all 'round the clock.
Got a pain here in my shoulder and it just won't go away
From that big electric thirteen pound guitar I play all day."
"Well it sounds to me like you've got Godfrey's Big Guitar Disease.
It'll stiffen up your shoulders and it'll buckle down your knees.
You see your health's affected by the instrument you choose
So it's time you learned to play those Ukulele Ragtime Blues."

Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Blues
Hear 'em holler yahoo! over in Oahu where the women don't wear shoes
Doctor Hager told me "You've got to take that cruise."
You can hear me cryin' Give me those Hawaiian Ukulele Ragtime Blues.

"Good, now go get yourelf an ukulele and call me in the morning."

So I walked up to the music store with paper in my hand.
I said, "Fill me, Mister Mullin, this prescription if you can."
So he looked me up and down and said, "Well, just because it's you,
Even though our stock is way way down, I'll see what I can do."

Well, he found a Ukulele dated Nineteen Forty Four,
It was dirty, dusty, full of cobwebs, last one in the store.
Oh, but as he strummed that Hula tune my heart went on a jag.
In the key of D from Waikiki, that Blue Hawaiian Rag. Oh,

Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Blues
Look at Mauna Loa Is she gonna blow 'er top or will she just refuse?
This lanai's reserved for kicking off my shoes
Strummin' and a singin' buckin' and a-wingin' Ukulele Ragtime Blues!


Now my back is straight, my step is light, my eyes are bright and clear.
'Cause I haven't tried to lift that fat guitar for half a year.
Now I follow Doc's prescription when I'm layin' down my sound
And I can't relax with any ax that weighs more than a pound.

Doctor Hager, he's a genius, he's the Einstein of Kailu;
Just because he told me, Lighten up, and now that's what I do.
There are times I rattle kitchen spoons or toot my tin kazoo,
Ah, but most of all I love my little ukulele-lu. Oh,

Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Ukulele Ragtime Blues
Sing it in the show-i over here in Maui where I pay my union dues
Oh, those wild wahines, you know they can't refuse.
Shoutin' with a shimmy, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Ukulele Ragtime Blues!

You can hear me cryin' Give me those Hawaiian Ukulele Ragtime Blues!