I was born in the church just like my Daddy was, yo,
I'm Pioneer stock, my Grandpa crossed the plains in the snow!
I got my Eagle Scout at 12 with some assistance from my Mom
I was home before 9:30 when I went to the prom.
I love to sit in my pew, and praise the Lord with a hymn,
I'm hyper-active, yo, I even got the keys to the gym.

I'm the diddly wack-mack Mormon daddy.
Yo, my peeps all be conformin' cause it's cool to be a Mormon.
I'm the black, jack, say no to crack daddy-O. I
'm the diddly wack-mack Mormon daddy. And I'm spiritchal!

If a girly wants to pursue me (do me),
I say NO! girl not with you- Me? I'll be waiting for my baby dressed in white. (Not beige.)
I believe that procreation ain't a form of recreation
And my testimony keeps me warm at night! (So flippin' warm)

Chorus

Would all those in favor, Please make it manifest, please make it manifest, please make it manifest
Would all those in favor please make it manifest,
I'm the diddly wack-mack Mormon daddy.

People tell me "That's funny to give a tenth of all your money"
But I do it no regret, cause of all the blessings that I get
I ain't stupid or lazy, I read my scriptures like crazy.
I don't smoke or drink or cheat, I spent two years on my feet,
That's more valuable to me than any prize.
Preachin' love and peace with other well-dressed guys.

So many people let their spirits get persuaded by the Devil,
But I say "Get thee hence! I'm never gonna sink to your level".
You're dark and evil, you want my face to be covered with mud,
You stupid dummy, I hope you rot in heck for this crud!

Chorus

I'm the knick-knack-paddy-whack daddy,
Yo, my peeps all be conformin' cause it's fly to be a Mormon.
I'm the phat, not jack Mormon daddy. And I'm spiritchal.

The storms of hell might be a stormin'
But I'm safe, Me? I'm a Mormon.
I'm tougher than George Foreman,
I'm the bomb, cuz I'm a Mormon.
Just don't call me Norman,
I'm Diddly Wack-and I'm spiritchal!