She took off like a fighter plane

Left everything and hung her diamond ring

On a keychain hook by the door

Ain't ever been done like that before

So I sat back and cracked an a. m. beer

And in Sharpie black, I wrote "Cheap Stuff Here"

On a poster and stuck it by the road

Sure enough, those people showed

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar

Ain't trying to get rich quick

so go ahead and make me an offer

And at the end of the day, everything you take

Is something I ain't gotta keep

Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free

So lowball me

That sundress she wore down in Boca Raton

Three or four bucks, you can take it home

To tell the truth, you're doing me a favor

Saving me from a headache later

Tell your mamaw, the preacher, and the mayor that

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar

Ain't trying to get rich quick

so go ahead and make me an offer

And at the end of the day, everything you take

Is something I ain't gotta keep

Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free

So lowball me

Lowball me

If she changed her mind, turned back around

She'd come home to a half-empty house

I'm selling off her shit at pennies on the dollar

Ain't trying to get rich quick

so go ahead and make me an offer

And at the end of the day, everything you take

Is something I ain't gotta keep

Anything that's hers is yours for next-to-free

So lowball me

Lowball me