We're low on cash this Christmas
There's no presents under the tree
Santa, he got a job for me
Gonna extort a celebrity

Mom warmed up the car
She told me therapy won't be that hard
Times are tough, you know the family needs it
So black or white hold on tight while you beat it

I'm going to Christmas in Neverland
I'm gonna sword fight day and night
With Peter Pan
Come home a little bit abused
And slightly confused
We'll get rich just stick to the plan
In Never Neverland

Mom rolled up
She threw me out the car door
She said she'd say a prayer for me
In the doorway stood a devilish man
Who had some Jesus Juice for me

I asked if I could see his monkey
He threw me on the bed and tried to hump me
He even watched me while I took a wiz
I think I'm kind of into this

Mom showed up with an ice pack
She asked me to describe my attack
I said there is no blood on me
We cuddled by the Christmas tree
So she enrolled me in a self-help class
With a candy cane still in my ass
I said hello my name is Stevo
I had sex with Captain EO
They asked me to elaborate
But squirmed when I said masturbate
With eyes wide open, faces red
I told them how I gave him

Heading to court that day
I cried cause I was sad
Never would I get to go back
To Never Neverland

Christmas in Neverland