Smoke clouds rise up the chimney
Meth lab in disguise.
Dad gave mom the same old gift - a set of two black eyes.
Mom heads down to the workplace
To lap dance for some tips.
Ho! Ho! Ho! For the mistletoe and the drunk guy grabbing her tits.

The Santa hats not in season.
The mullet works just fine.
Say goodbye to old St. Nick
He isnt coming back this time.

Shotguns pointed at Rudolph
He's been naughty all year
Bah humbug will sleigh jack Santa
And eat all the reindeer

It's Christmastime in the 909
It's Christmastime in the 909
It's Christmastime in the 909
The kids drink beer and their parents don't mind.
Tell you children Santa's not a jerk
We gunned him down in the valley of the dirt.

We gave you our wish list
We still smell like shit
We hung our stockings
You gave us coal.

You labeled us failures
'Cause we live in trailers
Fill you badass with bullet holes.

It's Christmastime in the 909
It's Christmastime in the 909
It's Christmastime in the 909
The kids drink beer and their parents don't mind.
Tell your children Santa's not a jerk
And not to fuck with the valley of the dirt.