Chorus:
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Whaler
could have been a Tailor,
He turned out to be Norman Mailer

Whoaaoo

He stepped back and he smoked a joint
Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point
Mommy was a hamster, Daddy was a jailer
Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure

(chorus)

He's so glad he's Vlad

When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks
But you know they didn't like him
because all the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home his wrath
for his ancient foe had spurned
But the ancient art of impalement
was something that the boy had learned

Oh, how he learned
He learned, they burned and burned and burned
Rotisseries of corpses turned

He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad